Boy....it's been ages since I last wrote here. Each day I think about it though. I think part of the reason why I had a lot of trouble writing here is because as a person I have grown so much. Don't get me wrong everything I've said and believed is still valid but I think I have a new, more aged outlook.
Looking back and reading some of my old posts its obvious to me that since day one my passions have not changed. I care about people. I think the most wonderful thing about our society is all the means we have to express to one another the care and appreciation we have for one another. Yet, some of those very same means, from Facebook to Religion, can be used to do just the opposite. Sometimes faith is a tool of oppression and exclusion, and social media is a weapon used to attack from a safe distance. Yet, even thought these things can be hard for us to swallow, and some people choose to use them against us--we need to refuse to let go of what belongs to us. What this means is no one persons prayers or tweets can remove you and your impact from this world.
I slip up a lot. I convince myself I am not worth it, and I stand in my own way.
Well that just isn't going to cut it anymore. We are all getting older, the world is calling us into adulthood. Our generation is coming into play, we are impacting the world and its time we make the difference we used to talk about in high school. All my time here at SLU I have met nothing but countless extraordinary people. Be it the boy who is fearless in his sexuality, or the girl who will stop at nothing to make the world know her love and care; I know that these people are destined for great things. Yet sometimes that upcoming test, or impeding awkward social interaction is enough to blind them of that.
Admittedly, the fact that I don't have many friends who identify as I do as well as the struggle I have with religion blinds me. Sure, I have so many people I can trust and a spirituality can be a few steps away but sexuality and faith require more of me. I am still searching for the tools I need to continue to grow. That's no excuse though, we need to use our past experiences as tools too. Sometimes I forget the people who care about me. I forget the purpose I am striving for. I even forget the love I have given out and the love I have known.
All it takes is a deep breath. A deep breath to tell yourself it's all going to be okay--and the you that you are right now...that is the right version of yourself. You'll get there, you will find the friends who can help your grow, and the connection you are looking for will come. The relationship you're striving, the dream you are chasing for they are around the corner...but they are not going to come to you, you need round the corner and find them!
So I have my passion. I want to continue to extend my reach as far as I can and help inspire and impact as many as I can. Ask yourself, what is yours? What is standing in your way right now? In which way can you treat yourself better and move towards your dreams?
So if you are reading this, I appreciate it, and I want you to know no matter your struggles you are never alone. Sometimes people are with you even if you don't realize it. So keep at it, ask for help, and be proud.
You truly are amazing.
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