If You Ask Me How I'm Doing, I Would Say I'm Doing Just Fine

Value. 

That is a really different word, because value is something assigned by others. We assign value to other things, we don't control the value of our own actions or behaviors. How well you do your Job isn't up to you,  and the level of influence you have on your kids isn't you decision--the value of this is co-constructed by those around us.

So what is my value? Is it based off my friends who care about me endlessly, but sometimes don't get me? Is it based off my family, who love me endlessly but don't know the real me? Is it the person I want to be friends with but writes me off for the way I look? How about the stranger who I hardly know but is effortlessly kind to me? 

All of these people make me feel a certain way, some of them make me feel better than others but all of them make me feel. Lately I have found that a lot of people are making me feel as if I exist in a manner with little value. Friends who don't understand what true support it, family that isn't on my side, and others that see me as nothing but a bother. As far as I am concerned, based on this information, I have little value. 

Wrong. All of it. The idea that others assign value. The way people make me or others feel. All of this is wrong. 

It is all up to me. I am in charge of how I feel. I give myself self worth. So what if you were shot down by the one you like or a potential friend judges your appearance and writes you off. That is not what you defines who you are. Missed opportunities and negative interactions having nothing to do with your value. There are millions of people on this planet, and I am not friends with nearly all of them. The tiny amount that I am friends with, they have millions of actions and I am not aware of most of them so I need to take what I know is true, good and honest and use that. Use it to make meaning for myself. Meaning of our friendship. Meaning of my life. 

Well, I can't say I am sure that this made sense. As I wrote and re-wrote this several times, but I know that I said what I wanted to say and that is all I need. Just remember, people are more than a nice jaw line, a small waist and nice clothes. If you can't see past that and give value to yourself and others...you are doing it wrong. 

Tears Don't Mean Your Losing, Everybody's Bruising There's Nothing Wrong With Who You Are

Boy....it's been ages since I last wrote here. Each day I think about it though. I think part of the reason why I had a lot of trouble writing here is because as a person I have grown so much. Don't get me wrong everything I've said and believed is still valid but I think I have a new, more aged outlook.

Looking back and reading some of my old posts its obvious to me that since day one my passions have not changed. I care about people. I think the most wonderful thing about our society is all the means we have to express to one another the care and appreciation we have for one another. Yet, some of those very same means, from Facebook to Religion, can be used to do just the opposite. Sometimes faith is a tool of oppression and exclusion, and social media is a weapon used to attack from a safe distance. Yet, even thought these things can be hard for us to swallow, and some people choose to use them against us--we need to refuse to let go of what belongs to us. What this means is no one persons prayers or tweets can remove you and your impact from this world.

I slip up a lot. I convince myself I am not worth it, and I stand in my own way.

Well that just isn't going to cut it anymore. We are all getting older, the world is calling us into adulthood. Our generation is coming into play, we are impacting the world and its time we make the difference we used to talk about in high school. All my time here at SLU I have met nothing but countless extraordinary people. Be it the boy who is fearless in his sexuality, or the girl who will stop at nothing to make the world know her love and care; I know that these people are destined for great things. Yet sometimes that upcoming test, or impeding awkward social interaction is enough to blind them of that.

Admittedly, the fact that I don't have many friends who identify as I do as well as the struggle I have with religion blinds me. Sure, I have so many people I can trust and a spirituality can be a few steps away but sexuality and faith require more of me. I am still searching for the tools I need to continue to grow. That's no excuse though, we need to use our past experiences as tools too. Sometimes I forget the people who care about me. I forget the purpose I am striving for. I even forget the love I have given out and the love I have known.

All it takes is a deep breath. A deep breath to tell yourself it's all going to be okay--and the you that you are right now...that is the right version of yourself. You'll get there, you will find the friends who can help your grow, and the connection you are looking for will come. The relationship you're striving, the dream you are chasing for  they are around the corner...but they are not going to come to you, you need round the corner and find them!

So I have my passion. I want to continue to extend my reach as far as I can and help inspire and impact as many as I can. Ask yourself, what is yours? What is standing in your way right now? In which way can you treat yourself better and move towards your dreams?

So if you are reading this, I appreciate it, and I want you to know no matter your struggles you are never alone. Sometimes people are with you even if you don't realize it. So keep at it, ask for help, and be proud.

You truly are amazing.

Forever Young. I Want To Be Forever Young

Sigh, have you ever gotten the feeling that life is rushing by and your just sitting in a hole in your couch? In all honesty that feeling overcomes me entirely too often, I look at the circumstance around me and wish I could do more (or be more). Needless to say this often ends in me being overcritical and judging myself. I always want more out of life than I have but feel as though I don't have the means to get it.

I need to work on perspective.

What is significant to you? [Chew on that for a second] Now think, what is it that really means something to you? Is it family? alone time? money? time? friends? It doesn't matter what you value, but rather why you value. Once you get to the core of that, you can make good use of your life. Let's say money is the most significant thing in your life; why might that be the case? I would venture to say that aside from greed (which isn't a great answer everyone) it would be to live comfortably and support the once you care for. If that's the case then clearly you value the stability and safety of those around...so apply that to your everyday life right now. You may not be able to make 100k within the next school year, but you can go out of your way to help stabilize a friend or a family member--you might surprised how good this makes you feel.

Okay lets try another scenario: what if time is what you hold dearest to your heart, you love to have moments to spend doing the most carefree and simplistic activities. You value laying under a tree watching the stars and reflecting on life...okay sure,but just to make sure I sound like a curious 4th grader I'll ask it one more time; why? Well odds are you are a thinker, a lot of gears are always turning in your head making thoughts but it doesn't seem like they often escape your lips. Someone like you values outlook and intellect, you get great comfort from reflecting on ideas and coming up with solutions and new ideas. Now at this moment you may not be able to write the next big theory of Philosophy, but maybe you can find happiness in fighting for a cause you understand--go out and let the world know how to turns the gears in their heads!

Okay so I started to sound a bit like a horoscope there for a while but the point is there, we all have our hopes and our wants for life and we need to take active steps toward them, but that does not mean we should let the time we have now pass us with little to show for it! So I'm saying while your young go out and do something that's worth remembering and realize your life is meant to go down many paths so don't be afraid if every once in a while you miss a turn...

I Try Twice As Hard And I'm Half As Liked

Some one person once said "the grass is always greener on the other side" and then about 4 billion people repeated it since then...I have to admit though, this guy must really have known what he was talking about because it seems like no matter where we are there is always somewhere better to be. I mean think about it, do you know a single person who doesn't h ave any aspirations left? Or even who loves every aspect of their life? It seems like we always need something else to be truly happy, no one ever gets to a point in life where they can say "okay I am done, I don't want anything else from life...everything is perfect as is."

This isn't something that is ever gonna go away, it's human nature to want more. We get used to the situation we have and then those blessings aren't enough to satisfy us anymore. But just because society isn't changing doesn't mean you can't! And I mean that in more ways than you think, sure I can tell you "there are people in third world countries starving, so be happy you have access to instant McDonalds" or whatever. That isn't enough, yes you should be thankful for that, but take it a step further and stop worrying about the shape of your  thighs or the size of you nose. Even the most "beautiful" people in the world can find something about themselves they don't like, but it takes a truly beautiful person to take that part of themselves and truly own it. You may hate your smile, but what about all the parts of you that you love? This shouldn't stop at appearance: so what if one girl called you something mean? What about your best friend sitting next to you telling you that you are the best damn thing to ever happen to her?

I guess I am stating the obvious here, we let the negative bother us more than we allow ourselves celebrate the positive. Yet it confuses me that we never ever really celebrate the positive, one let down stays with me for a day and yet a compliment flutters away moments after I hear it. I say that it's time you look yourself in the eye and say that you did it! There are countless movies/TV shows/Books about the underdog coming out on top and defying all odds and we all wish that was us...well it is! I may not be Elle Woods and I may not have gotten into law school and graduated top of my class...but I did manage to come out of the semester with a kick ass GPA. It's a small victory, but I did it!

It's time we stop admire other people lawns, and we break out our own hypothetical lawn mowers and make our lives just a tad bit greener! Celebrate that which you already have and strive for happiness and nothing more. If you are gonna let one loss get you down, make it a promise to make all the successes build you up. Don't wait for it to happen, make it happen!

I'm Trading My Sorrows, I'm Trading My Pain

Every once in a while an event comes along in your life that you just do not know how to deal with. Today was that day for me. Without going into details, security services said I was "the victim of a hate crime", and that is basically true...but its one of many things that I am and one of many things I plan to never let define me. Some awful word was carved into my things and some terrible words were said from behind a hidden phone number. I can't lie and say it wasn't upsetting or even disappointing, because it was, yet that wasn't all it was though; it was enlightening too. This individual wanted something from me, they wanted to see me upset and angry and they wanted to see me hurt...Why? I could give them so much more, I have countless other things to offer. As I munch on that thought it occurred to me sometimes life gives us things in the most mysterious ways. For all I know a calm response from me can be enough to prove to this person that they are in the wrong. What I am saying is that sometimes our eyes can't see what our hearts can feel. 

Whether you believe in God or not, there is a fine print somewhere in the contract of life that says "what goes around comes around" and I personally like to think God is the one making the circles. While this situation may be trying and difficult now, it will give me the strength to encourage others to be courageous in the future. While the person behind the harsh words may be cold and hard now, God may be sending him down this path so he can one day stumble down the right path. 

Recently I have been sharing this story like it was my job, and so one more time can't hurt:

A friend of mine told me that God is like a Sheppard, and when a sheep used to stray from the flock back in the day the sheppard would have to get it back on track. To do this the sheppard would break the sheep's leg and carry it until it had healed so it learned to trust its master and follow the path it set for him. In this same fashion sometimes God "breaks our legs" and takes us down a path we might not have seen coming so that we can one day walk the path he always wanted us to. 

I guess what I am saying in all this is that sometimes life just happens, and you can get knocked down and stay there or you can pick up the pieces and realize that there are a thousand other reasons to be happy. Religious or not, you are loved loving and loveable and the more you come to know this the better off you'll be. No matter who you are and no matter what you've done I hope you one day find a happy and moral life. Be kind to each other everyone, we don't live long enough to do otherwise. 

If This World Makes You Crazy And You've Taken All You Can Bear, You Call Me Up Cause You Know I'll Be There

Coming into college my faith life was strong, heck it was more than strong it was relentless. My faith was every part of me, it defined how I viewed everything in my life from friends to career choices and everything in-between. Don't get me wrong this hasn't and will not change, but my understanding of it has change significantly. I believed that since I has grown so much in my faith in high school, college faith would be a cake walk. At first it was, I looked for places on campus to talk about my faith or even place to just interact with people who held similar beliefs. That worked perfectly I not only kept a strong faith, but it grew, it grew so much that I even decided to go through the RCIA process (but that's a whole other sack of potatoes). I got used to this, my faith life had peaked in my mind, I was on top of the proverbial mountain of faith and I thought that would never go away. But alas, I got too comfortable and I let it slowly slip from me...and as it slowly fell between my fingers I began to secretly freak out. What could I do? Where did I go wrong? How do I fix this? Well the answers were not easy to come by, and soon I found my self losing the motivation to even go to anything religiously affiliated. All the stress surrounding my faith life was enough to make me want to just run away, it was enough to make me want to drop everything and take my life in another direction.

To drop everything and take my life in another direction.

That sounded familiar, the apostles. Jesus called them and they dropped everything and followed him as fishers of men. They went out and spoke with others helping to mold and craft the word of the Lord. As these thoughts flooded my mind, I remembered my faith, I remembered what it meant to be a man of God and I knew how to climb the mountain again.

God can not be fully comprehended by man, it is simply beyond our brains biological capabilities. Yet, that is exactly why we have faith; trust in something that can never be 100% certain. If you find this hard to grasp then imagine this: there are creatures under the sea with the capability to see several more colors than the human eye. This means that they can see entirely new colors, not just deeper shades but new colors entirely. Can you imagine a new color? Not really, but you know what it would be like...In the same way you may not be able to imagine God entirely, but I assure you we have been given enough to understand what He is like and that He truly does love us. Moreover, this obscured understanding of God requires us to constantly explore and deepen our faith. This is where I fell short, I believed I reached my peak and as a result the next steps I took only took me back down the mountain.

For us to be strong in our faith then we must go out and actually be fishers of men, we must go out into the world and share our faith with each other because together we will come to greater and more complete understandings. Our faith is infinite, we must always continue to explore it within ourselves and through each other; otherwise our love for God will fall through the cracks.

God is like a best friend on the other side of the world, even if you don't talk to Him for days, months, or years, the next time you call them it'll seem like no time has passed. So do yourself and God a favor, and keep the connection strong...God knows you better than anyone else so it is worth keeping in touch.

I Will Do Things I Never Thought I Would Do But Always Kinda Wanted To

I will.

-Those are some powerful words--in fact anything of that nature that expresses certainty is powerful and not to mention frightening. One of the hardest things to do now days is to be sure, our vocabulary is riddled with words and phrases like "I don't know" or "I guess" and "maybe". These words are just reflections of our fear of letting lose and growing, its a physical manifestation of our battle with the unknown. Nothing is more intimidating than the unknown, but you know...thats a funny thought. In the past when we were young, in another life, the unknown was what we dreamed of. We ran around with capes on our necks and explored the depths of our neighbors back yards and that was pure bliss. When it came to dinner time a plate of pasta was less than exciting but intergalactic macaroni--now that was a dish!! Anything new or unheard of was exciting and riveting and yet sadly that slipped world away between our fingers. Why? Well it's simple, we made a life for ourselves. The world called on us to be more mature and so we found a group of friends, we got a job, and we went to school and that was that. I am telling you that all this is simply not enough, do not settle for ordinary when frankly you are extraordinary--ordinary should be the new outstanding.

Devote yourself to more. I am in no way saying abandon what you have, no in fact do the opposite hold onto it forever and cherish it because that is your blessing. But don't let this be the end keep pushing because our lives have no script, nowhere is it written the path we must take so forge on! You may have made it, you may be on the way to the exact life you want but I am telling you to go above and beyond. You only get one life so why not do all you can with it? But that's not the first time you have heard that...everyone says "chase your dreams" "never give up" etc. I'm here to take it to the next step.

Dream those dreams you have never dreamt before, explore the ideas you are afraid to explore, challenge the thoughts you thought you might never challenge. Speaking from experience, quit dodging bullets and put your cape back on; cause if you're a superhero those bullets will just bounce off. Finish the war underneath your skin. Give yourself the will to tackle the unknown the challenging and the frightening. After all every part of you is there, every dream you dream is there, in your skin and on your cape you just need to recognize it--you just need to say you will.

My Universe Will Never Be The Same, I'm Glad You Came

Well it has been quite some time since I last wrote, admittedly things have been stressful lately. It seems that in every walk of life every where you turn there are new problems to handle; and while these often can be constructive experiences that doesn't mean they can't be taxing! It's really important that when these stressful times present themselves we face them with courage and conviction and certainly not fear and laziness. Stress comes from the unexpected, stress is essentially the force that acts against all our goals. Without stress everything would be a breeze (and while that sounds down right glorious) we would never learn anything. So some stress is healthy and can even be a positive experience, but watch out for those times when it seems like every part of each day is filled with a different brand of stress. Those days are the ones that can knock us down a peg.

Regrettably there is no quick fix to stress, stress balls and pep talks can only do so much, and if ever there was an end all be all to stress relief I'd be out buying that product right now and not writing this entry! It times of stress it is important that we remember that we are ourselves and that we each have our own individual ways of coping with problems. I personally love talking it out and listening to music, but then sometimes its great to be alone and just think. In any particular case the way I might act can depend on a thousand things and the key to figuring it out is taking a step back breathing and realizing that no matter what this too shall pass, so all you need to do is work it out like you know you will.

But sometimes this can't be done alone, and I know have talked endlessly about what it means to have good friends and be surrounded by loving people, but this time I want to call you to action. Look for those people on your life who are going through a lot right now, put yourselves in their shoes. I know what its like; most of the time when you talk it seems like your just having the same conversation as last week, like your listening to the same song over and over again. But just like a good tune can lift your spirits every time, a good talk can change a soul and save a life. It's never easy to understand what others are going through, I mean it is hard enough to imagine exactly all the stressed they have--but it's even harder to understand the way that particular person views them.

Please though, tackle the challenge and reach out to those who seem to be in need, or who you know are handling a lot. While it may seem mundane or pointless to you; your words can be the few words that keep hope alive. Even just a hello or a reminder of your love is enough to remind someone that there is a world that exists beyond their problems. Stress can be a consuming and evil force that narrows our vision and skews our view on life--but like any force it can be defeated. An army of love marches with your heartbeat, you just need to remember to give them orders!

So friends, today go out and be there for someone, remind there world that you are there are there is nothing they can do to put your light out. You may just end up as the lantern in a dark forest that leads someone home!

You Gotta Keep Your Head Up

Life is an amazing experience, period. No matter how yours plays out you are lucky to get to experience all the up's and down's that make up your life. Sometimes things happen that we can't control and at that point its easy to give up; but its during those moments when our lives are at their most trying times that beautiful stories are born. Today I want to share with you one of the most inspirational, beautiful and uplifting stories I've experienced in my life.

Recently one of my friends here was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma or bone cancer, and as you can imagine any news like that is heavy. I wasn't sure what to think when I found out and yet the first reaction I saw from her was "I'm a soon to be cancer survivor"--at that point I knew that this was gonna be a win for the SLU community and that I needed to be supportive. I found out a bit later than most people and so by the time all this came to my attention her facebook was riddled with support and love. It warmed my heart to know that someone who was already one of the most caring and compassionate people here at SLU would now have the chance to inspire everyone with her strength , hope and courage. Cancer is an ugly thing, but it takes a true hero to find a way to make the experience beautiful--Emily is a Hero.

Let me take you back to my first experiences with Emily, I met her in my Public Speaking class--one of the greatest classes in the history of the universe if I do say so myself. That class was amazing because all of us got along with each other and we were all supportive of everything we did. Normally speaking in front of people is hard no matter who you are what you are saying but in our case we all became friends so quickly that it was as if we were just having a conversation with our peers. Well as the semester progressed we all gave many speeches on many topics and our friendships grew closer; this was when Emily and I really became friends. Well by this point I had shared with Emily my dream of wanting to use my life to inspire others and she was nothing but supportive--in fact she was one of the reasons I started this very blog. Well anyway with the encouragement of Emily and our teacher Jasmine I decided to give my next speech in an inspirational manner, I gave a speech on how each day is a gift. I have to admit I was nervous and I may have messed up and bounced around a few times but at the very end of my speech and let a big sigh of relief and the was struck with happiness when looking at the first thing that met my eyes; Emily giving me a standing ovation. If it were acceptable to cry in Public Speaking I very well might have! For weeks to come she went out of her way to let me know how much she enjoyed that speech and how I have a gift; for that I owe Emily everything.

One of the best things you can do with your life is help give purpose to others, there are no feelings that rival that of affirmation. Nothing can make a person feel better than the support and love you can give them; and so I am here to return that favor to Emily now. If my speech was inspiring, her life is invigorating, motivating, influential, reassuring, and any other slue of words that you can imagine (and all those you can't imagine!) I want to share with you all Emily's blog: http://hashtagteamemily.blogspot.com/ because these words tell a story that no one else can.

Reading her blog brings me to tears each and every time, tears of joy knowing that I am part of history in the making. I won't tell you what it says because there is no possible way for me to phrase it that could be any better than the original.

After reading all this I want to let you all know that the most valuable thing in life is the love we have for one another. Time and time again Emily's family tells us that the support and love they get helps them so much. I want you all to be like Emily and her family; never give up hope, never let anyone knock you down. God only gives us that which we can handle and during the most difficult times in our lives it is then that he carries us. It's gonna be hard and there will be times when you want it all to just go away but remember that you are never in this alone, the one thing in life that never depletes is love.

In this spirit I want to ask a favor. It's a long shot but there is no harm in trying. If you know Emily and she has inspired you--or even if you don't know her--please consider filling out of these forms.
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=433
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=606

-These are links to The Ellen DeGeneres show's website. The first is for a monetary donation on her behalf to those who are deserving and the second is for those in your life who above all else are inspirational. It won't take long and it could possible help Emily and her family immensely.

On one final note I want to say to everyone that life is a gift, and gifts of for giving. Just as Emily has given us all her story and a new outlook on life, we too need to remember to give as much of ourselves as possible to others.

I Wouldn't Know What To Do I'd Be Lost Without You

Today was an emotional day, after watching a heavy episode of Glee that dealt with suicide I was confronted with the news that one of my floormates lost his best friend in car accident. The news hit me like a punch to the face, of all people why him? He is one of the nicest and most down to earth people I know, on top of that he goes out of his way to let others know he cares for them. My only hope is that he knows that his friend passed knowing how loved he was and that he is now enjoying God's endless grace. I hope my floormate can find comfort in the thought that his friend will know eternal happiness and look over him for now and forever.

These events got me to thinking, how often do we stop and realize just how sacred life is? We have this limited time on earth to connect to and love each other and yet we waste so much of it in hate. I want to urge you all to  realize that life is a one time thing and when you look back you don't want to know you hurt someone. What is the point in all this anger and hatred? What do our harsh words do other than come full circle? Hate is just another fight leaving both parties with scars.

Every moment we have we need to use to let each other know that love is too small a word to contain all the feelings we have for each other. We need to build a culture of compassion, a culture that values affirmation and not destruction. We need to build each other up, strengthen our bonds, solidify our defenses so that when we get cut we don't bleed so much. Unfortunately our pain is a lot easier to remember than our healing, just as the hate others have for us is much easier to remember than the love. Sometimes we don't realize how much our actions can hurt others; one insult can be the one that plays endlessly in someones mind, ignoring just one person in their time of need can make them feel terribly alone, standing on the sidelines can be the last act that you do before you see someone disappear from your life entirely. Never allow yourself to come to this point, if at any moment you find your self in a position like this don't second guess yourself  stand up for what is right no matter the cost. Nothing you sacrifice can be more important than the value you give to the life of another.

You never know when those who mean the most to you will be taken away from you, so make sure than they know they do in fact mean the most to you. No one should leave this planet feeling alone whether it is by their own doing or not. So this year for lent I've decided to take each day to let at least one person know that my love for them knows no bounds, that their life inspires me and that the world is made a better place because of them. I also vow to make an active effort to let everyone around me know that I will be here to support them in every way possible if ever anyone is in need of anything. It doesn't matter what you are going through or what you are scared of, that doesn't change the facts; love is love no matter what. So please if you need help and don't know where else to turn I am here. I know also that I am not the only option and so I encourage that you talk to someone, anyone, when you feel alone or scared because I know they will want to help. Fear may be loveless but love is fearless.

So Why Don't We Go Somewhere Only We Know

Lately the experiences I've been having have taught me an amazing lesson; that I have the right to be whatever I want to be however I want to be it. There is not a single thing you can do to stop me; you can't tease or bully or even judge the Firework out of me anymore than I can punch the Dufus out of you. What I want you to know is that our society places entirely too much emphasis on labels, since when is it okay to throw a couple words together and decide that is what defines you? There is only one word to describe me and that is George! Besides that, I am always growing and evolving, you may have defined me as "a kid with a spark" 2 years ago and now you could say I am a "firework" (This analogy will never grow old for me) So don't waste time putting me in your box because before you know it, I'll be the Fourth of July!

Life has no formula. I can't throw "loud" and "fun-loving" into an equation and expect to get an accurate picture of myself. I'm not telling you to stop using words to help express who you are to others--that would be not only impossible but also no fun at all! What I am saying is you don't need to use a series of letters to describe every difficult and confusing moment in your life. Let me give you a prime example of this: If you have struggles with your faith, and feeling like you are letting God down (you may be calling yourself a doubter or even weak) remember God is not restrained by words--God does not read the mind but rather the heart. Even the word "Faith" is not a good enough word to describe the connection we have to God, because faith only means trust or confidence in God and I'd be willing to lay down my life to say there is alot more we offer to God that just faith.

Have you ever been asked the question, if you friends were to use three words to describe you what would they be? Have you ever then realized that your friends wouldn't use three words , they'd use memories, gestures, phrases that mean nothing unless put into context, inside jokes, countless quotes. So why on earth is it that when I am to describe myself I only get three words? It should be more like three hours, at least one to explain that time I pooped ON my pants, oh and a good half hour to talk about Musical and being able to pay for a cell phone, not to mention the hour long impressions of Mrs. Young and her typos, and all this doesn't even take into account the good times at choir or the amazingness of Kairos (and I know somewhere someone is double fisting the dittos to that right now!) With all that in mind, you want three words!? How about: I Love Me!

These memories I referenced above they take us to a place that no one else but our friends can! A place only we know and only we can understand...a place that can't be put into words. But it isn't only our friends who take us to a place like this; all those times you have been moved by amazement, or joy, or beauty, that is when God is taking you to a place only you and He can understand. That to me is a glimpse of Heaven

A Love Without End Amen.

Today one of my best friends here made a comment about communion and the sign of peace. It came to my attention that I didn't really understand why we gave each other the sign of peace just before receiving the Eucharist and he helped clarify that. He said that the sign of peace represents the action that we are about to partake in--communion or community. Amazing huh? That something so deeply tied to our faith in God isn't just about the bond we share with him but the bond we share with each other. That speaks volumes to me that even such a simple act was meant to unify us all in God's eyes. This to me is what it means to be loved this is what it means to have "peace". Such a great feeling needs to be spread beyond the three minutes or so we have at mass to recognize it--it needs to be brought into everyday life. 

This brings me to the idea of our next major holiday!

Friends many of you must be aware of the upcoming holiday commonly known as Valentines Day (known to other's as single awareness day). Well this is a holiday that is often considered a construct of the media to suck more money out of us and to many that may be true; at least for Valentines Day but what about Singles Awareness Day?

When we think of being single we think of being alone, or incomplete, or even not loved, and yet we are none of those things. How come there isn't a word that describes someone who isn't in a typical "relationship" but still commits to a loving relationship with their friends, family and God? Facebook may not list me in a relationship but who is Facebook to judge my relationships? I AM in a relationship; with my wonderful mother, my outstanding best friends, my life-giving Lord, even you who are reading this we are in a relationship--there is love in these words! So where does this tie in with Single Awareness Day? Well I will celebrate this year not by buying a diamond necklace or going swing dancing but rather by letting all the people I love know that I am in a relationship with them!Take a moment to think about it, how ridiculous is it that we define our selves as single? At no point in my life have I been single, I have been blessed enough to be surrounded by extraordinary people all my life.  

Then that leads us to love. If I am not single then obviously I am in love right? You got it! I live and breath love like my life depends on it--because it does. To be in love I don't need flashy gifts or extravagant outings all I need is commitment, the ability to put those I care about before myself when the time comes. I think Nat King Cole put it best in his song L-O-V-E when he said that "love is more than just a game for two"--how awesome is this thought? That are love is meant for more than just our selves, that is is meant to spread beyond us to others? That kind of love will lead you to a successful "relationship"--maybe you could even make it Facebook official. The best relationships are between two people who want to give and don't expect to receive, those who offer to other endless and unconditional love. If that is the kind of relationship you are in you wont need flowers or expensive dinners all you need is each other. 

So then this Valentines Day/Singles Awareness Day I encourage you to go out and let everyone know what their love means to you. The ability to care for others so deeply is one of the best gifts God gave us so it would be a real shame if you didn't use it! 

I've Heard it Said that People Come into Our Lives for a Reason

College is but another experience that we enter completely and totally unprepared.  Really.  No matter how much we say, "I am so ready to get out of the house" or "I am so done with high school", college is still something you simply can't understand until you get there.  This may sound conceited or arrogant, but I don't mean to make college students sound like they're "cooler" or "more mature".  I simply mean that college is an experience one can't truly create a mental image of.  Speculating about what will happen to you and your friends is not worth worrying about in high school.  There is no way to tell where your lives will lead - so don't waste time worrying!

I have been blessed to meet people here at SLU who are much better people than I deserve to know.  People who genuinely know and understand themselves.  People who offer me so much by simply being my friend.  If that wasn't enough, I still have one of the greatest and most amazing support groups back home.  I know I have talked about them countless times, but I would do anything for any one of them.  Yes, we slip up, we have times when we prefer not to talk, we even ignore each other sometimes - but at this very moment, I would sacrifice anything and everything for them.

I want to address the fear of growing apart, and say that, well, it is just that - a fear!  All you have to do to quell that fear is actively be aware of it.  Make it a point to realize your friends are there even if you haven't talked in a week.  Make an effort, and I promise it will all work out.  We are creatures of habit - we will have our differences, but love in each other and in God will continue to pull us together... and we will be stuck like glue!

One of my friends, who is a couple of years younger than I, is incredibly inspiring to me.  He is an amazing example of this.  He makes it a point to take the time to let people know that they are always on his mind, especially when he hasn't seen them in a while.  He expresses such excitement whenever he gets back together with a friend he hasn't seen in a while.  I cannot express in mere words how much I respect him, which is odd, because I used to think of him as bit of a child.  Yet people grow right in front of our eyes.  I encourage everyone to try to be like him - someone who recognizes the good in everyone, someone who knows that life is for living and not hating.  There is a lot to be learned from our friends, and even more to learn from those who we taught in the past.  A person who sees people through the eyes of friendship and compassion, and not jealousy or anger, will get a lot more out of life than the rest of us who don't.  Still, he, like anyone else, may slip up and go awhile without staying in touch with friends, or even say something or act in a way that totally goes against his normal behavior. And yet - that is okay!  Can we really expect each other to be flawless?  I always say: do not throw away a lifetime of good memories over a minor dispute.  Why is it that one fight overrides countless good memories?  Even if a whole year passes with only small talk and text messages, there is still hope - time will go on without us, but memories are our own to keep!

This leads me to my last point: love.  That is it: LOVE.  With Valentine's Day on the horizon, this should not be hard to understand.  We have so little time our lives to do the things we love, so why waste time with anything else?  Be with the people you love and love them regardless of - no, because of their flaws.  Let them know that maybe things didn't go the way you planned, but there is no point wasting time being angry when it can be better spent utilizing the gifts God gave us, like each other, our families, our memories, or... maybe, just maybe, like JUST DANCE!

God, Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change and the Courage to Change the Things I Can

Lately, my personal life has been riddled with thoughts of the future and of what I wish accomplish with my life.  Admittedly, I found myself thinking that maybe I didn't have "the stuff."  I found myself looking at all those things in my life that, in my mind, weren't good enough - my short comings. I thought of all my friends involved in performing here at SLU, and I yearned for the stage... but I told myself it just wasn't where I belonged anymore.  I thought of my friends back home and the memories of my past experiences, and I wondered if I'd ever be good enough to reach that level in college.  To put it simply - I was only looking at the aspects of my life that didn't live up to my expectations (which, in all fairness, happens a lot in college).  It'll take time for me to get involved in organizations and groups that are similar to those that defined my life in high school.

At this point, you may be wondering where I am going with this.  I really want to emphasize the idea that, in these stressful times, I have completely failed to recognize all of the things in my life that went well thus far.  Without even realizing it, I had created a solid group of friends here at SLU, and I had successfully got involved in both faith and leadership roles on campus.  I even chose a major!  Now, that is a nice little update on my life, but that isn't why I am currently writing.  There is a bigger picture.

When Jesus called his disciples, he said, "Come and follow me, I say, and I shall make you fishers of men."  Jesus told them to drop everything - what they thought was their purpose in their life - and called them to something greater.  Take a moment and wonder.  Is this happening in your life?  I realize that I adore the stage and music, and I hope to keep them close to my heart... but I also realize that I can feel God tugging at the strings of my heart, calling me to something greater - something amazing.  So, maybe you didn't get a callback for your audition.  And maybe you didn't get that position you interviewed for.  But, as cliche as it sounds, as one door closes, another door opens!  You will never know what's waiting around the corner if you slouch against the wall and cry about "what could of been."

Look at the world.  There is corruption, hate, slavery, scandal, and murder.  But there is also a growing force of love.  A growing force of those who accept their calling and work to make the world a better place.  Do you think that when these people went to college, they majored in "starting a movement" or "inspiring a nation" or "saving a life"?  Those majors don't even exist!  I am glad they followed the path God set for them - even if it was a broken path.  I am thinking back to the slogan of Notre Dame Vision: "The Gifts of the Saints changed the World.  What will you do with yours?"

So, my friends, I challenge you to look past the things you don't get, and instead, focus your vision onto that which awaits you: the loving embrace of God and his plan for you.